Writing

The Little Otter

A Deprogramming Story for Alters of Any Age This story is written for personalities of any age, though the youngest may need help with some of the vocabulary words. There are some depictions of abuse in the section called Shadows, which can be skipped if needed. Instead, child alters can offer their own examples of […]

Oh, Betrayal

Oh, it does hurt. I had written about betrayal several days ago, and in doing so, I seem to have deepened my connection to the memory of betrayal, just by telling it that I sense it is there, and I sense we are not yet together. I have sat closer with it, and given it […]

Betrayal

I think at first I was too young to understand that anything could be anyone’s fault. I just experienced a long sequence of unnatural pains. Then, when I was born, and I found myself living in a separate body that could be abandoned, approached, and even invaded, I began to witness the difference between cause […]

Soothing

There is something about lately that makes me want to write an essay that is not about programming, trauma-based mind control, and slavery. As I begin, I am not sure if I can even do this, because all of these realities still exist within me today, and they exist in so many others all around […]

Cleaning the Kitchen

Content Warning: This essay contains graphic depictions of group rape, violence, and torture, as well as descriptions of child loss, shame, and specific programming practices. I have been in a continuous state of suffering since my inception. While it may be difficult for some people to believe that this is possible—and while there may be […]

Programmed Voices

I am starting to realize how much daily interaction I still have with my abusers, even though on the outside, I appear to live a life in which I only interact with a relatively small group of kind, safe beings. I interact with friends. I interact with a support system. I interact with the many […]

Expression

There is so much more that we would say, if we felt fully safe. Tonight, we are wishing that we could tell you our names, and that we could learn yours. Tonight we are wishing that nobody needed to hide from anybody. Tonight, we are reexperiencing moments that broke us apart and made us strangers. […]

To My Children

My Dear Ones I miss you. I think about you every day. My heart hurts, and I wonder how much your hearts hurt. Part of why I work so hard to remember, is so that I can remember you. I hope that wherever you are, you are safe. I don’t know if anywhere out there […]

Mass Production

Production and Trafficking I have seen slaves mass produced. There are a number of forms of slave mass production that have taken place, right before my eyes. There are probably other forms of slave mass production that I have not personally witnessed. The forms you may be aware of include: plants that are grown for […]

Justice

Nature Sometimes storms break trees. Sometimes rabbits trample ants. Sometimes plants grow needles. Sometimes the ocean drowns a land dweller, or the air drowns an ocean dweller. Sometimes humans take wood and metal—resources and life from the earth—and they create guns, tanks, factories, poisonous gasses, and plastic. Sometimes humans capture and experiment on small animals […]

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