Painting by a seven-year-old child in our system.
Though we are housed in one body, we experience ourselves as multiple people, all yearning to live in peace.
I am a survivor of trauma-based mind control, extreme abuse, and child trafficking. I grew up enslaved within a powerful network of abusers, pedophiles, and psychopathic criminals. Both of my original parents were slaves. My slavery began before birth, as cruel abusers split my psyche and induced fear into my being, using electroshock to my mother’s womb.
As a result, I experience myself to have a split mind. I experience multiple, very independent states of being. Some of those inner beings are inner children, while other beings are adults. This way of experiencing life is most closely categorized by the term Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID. Though I am one person living in one body, I experience myself as many people living in one body. Often, I refer to myself as “we,” or “the we of me.” I feel myself to be a member of a system, and from within the remnants of our hopefulness, we call ourselves the Sunlight System.
I have had a very sad life. It is difficult to bear suffering without knowing its purpose. It has always deeply pained me not to know why I was born into a life of slavery. My young parts would say, we don’t know what we did wrong to deserve this. We don’t know why we are so bad. We think we are bad because we were treated so badly.
I reflect on my life, and the lives of others, every day. I am writing about my experiences, for at least two reasons. First, I know there are many out there like me, either still living within the grips of slavery, or freed from this terrible life, and struggling to heal and to live. Second, my abusers were, and are, people who are trying to exert deeply malicious control over the populations of the planet, and in my heart, I feel the desire to spread awareness about their actions and intentions, because every day I witness the consequences of their actions, and the unjust suffering of so many people, animals, plants, and other living beings.
A necessary note: As a survivor of organized abuse, I must protect my identity and maintain full anonymity, and protect myself from any potential further victimization. I welcome you to share this blog with others, but do not speculate about my identity. I am dedicated to recovery—as evidenced by the nature of my writing. I have no intent to harm myself or others, nor have I ever harmed anyone of my own free will. Though this message may seem intense, its purpose is safety and protection. Should anything happen to me, or someone close to me, there are people in my life who will investigate, and will know that any potential negative messaging about me is false.
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